Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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