i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
