dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just found puke in my bra..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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