Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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