so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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