No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
