did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
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I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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