Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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