She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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