hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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