it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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