This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
