i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
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I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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