Do you still have your period?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
