Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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