I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
