Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
