Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES