I skipped work to stalk him.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
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I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.