You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??