last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?