Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is