well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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