I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
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Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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