too bad you live with your parents still
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
