Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
