I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize