1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
FUCK WHALES
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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