I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Please, let me fuck your mom
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
