glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
