sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This is my gift to your gina
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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