Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
