just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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