On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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