help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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