i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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