just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize