Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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