It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
