True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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