the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My ATM looks so different sober.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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