Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
