I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
