toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Don't make out with my wife yet
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
there was a trapeze. enough said
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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