"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize