bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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