There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
