I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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