He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize