I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
