You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize