Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
