How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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