My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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