Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
