Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
