I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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