I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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