Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
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He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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