How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
