I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize