She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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