just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I cut my penus on the lid.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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