then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize